The Death of Osama Bin Laden
September 24th 2006 03:12
Osama Bin Laden is reportedly dead. From typhoid. I protest! Where are the bombs, the guns to the head and the helicopter chases? Although there is a certain cold satisfaction that he’d die of typhoid, miserably, like a wet dog on the streets, without access to even basic medical care. But that’s not enough for catharsis, is it?
But hold your horses. This report was released in France. Which got its information from Saudis. Osama dead? Don’t think so. Just wait for a month or two and Al-Jazeera will broadcast a video saying, “Fellow martyrs and Hungry lions, these reports that I’m dead are nothing but a Zionist conspiracy. They are vicious lies spread by the infidels. Don’t lose heart. I am alive and well and feeding on rats daily. Typhoid is an infidel disease. How dare they spread such lies about me! Don’t fall for this debased infidel propaganda and go on about making your plans for more bombings and beheadings.”
Or else he could be really dead or dying. In which case....
The Sydney Morning Herald writes that “there is a genuine outpouring and affection for this man who has brought a superpower down to its knees. True, his methods may not have been generally well-liked but his is a struggle that resonates with the hearts and minds of people across the world.”
The Socialist Worker writes that the imminent death of Osama Bin Laden “has deprived the worker’s revolution from a glorious ally. Which of us has not hoped that there would a great alliance between Radical Islam and Social Revolution? Which of us has not hoped that the dark days of global capitalism are numbered? But, all such hopes are on the death bed as is this great revolutionary figure of our times.”
The Guardian writes that Osama was like “a David who had punctured the towering hubris of a Goliath. The tragedy of our times is that the David has succumbed and we still have to live with dross called America.”
The New York Times reported the fact that the streets of world capitals from Madrid to Paris were reeling with people unable to process the shock and were glued to the television. Streets were overflowing with bouquets of flowers and messages left to Osams. “We love you Osama” was the banner that hung outside EU headquarters in Brussles. In UN, a minute’s silence was observed to pray for the soul of Osama Bin Laden. Scenes of jubilation that broke in some parts of Middle America were roundly condemned. “Americans are uncultured and barbaric,” says Segolene Royale, the new President of French Republic. The Times of London reported that such scenes of grief and general outpouring were not seen since the death of Princess of Wales.
President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has said that “the death of Osama was a great loss to world community and will embolden the imperialist aggressor to strike Iran.” President Chavez has said from his sick bed that this news has saddened him and he would immediately order a beautiful tribute to be erected in the honour of our great amigo. Nobel Prize winners Arundhati Roy and Kofi Annan have appealed to the U.S. not to turn this tragedy into an opportunity and desist from any plans of attacking Iran.
Either or. One of these this is going to happen. Either way he's on his way to apotheosis.
But hold your horses. This report was released in France. Which got its information from Saudis. Osama dead? Don’t think so. Just wait for a month or two and Al-Jazeera will broadcast a video saying, “Fellow martyrs and Hungry lions, these reports that I’m dead are nothing but a Zionist conspiracy. They are vicious lies spread by the infidels. Don’t lose heart. I am alive and well and feeding on rats daily. Typhoid is an infidel disease. How dare they spread such lies about me! Don’t fall for this debased infidel propaganda and go on about making your plans for more bombings and beheadings.”
Or else he could be really dead or dying. In which case....
The Sydney Morning Herald writes that “there is a genuine outpouring and affection for this man who has brought a superpower down to its knees. True, his methods may not have been generally well-liked but his is a struggle that resonates with the hearts and minds of people across the world.”
The Socialist Worker writes that the imminent death of Osama Bin Laden “has deprived the worker’s revolution from a glorious ally. Which of us has not hoped that there would a great alliance between Radical Islam and Social Revolution? Which of us has not hoped that the dark days of global capitalism are numbered? But, all such hopes are on the death bed as is this great revolutionary figure of our times.”
The Guardian writes that Osama was like “a David who had punctured the towering hubris of a Goliath. The tragedy of our times is that the David has succumbed and we still have to live with dross called America.”
The New York Times reported the fact that the streets of world capitals from Madrid to Paris were reeling with people unable to process the shock and were glued to the television. Streets were overflowing with bouquets of flowers and messages left to Osams. “We love you Osama” was the banner that hung outside EU headquarters in Brussles. In UN, a minute’s silence was observed to pray for the soul of Osama Bin Laden. Scenes of jubilation that broke in some parts of Middle America were roundly condemned. “Americans are uncultured and barbaric,” says Segolene Royale, the new President of French Republic. The Times of London reported that such scenes of grief and general outpouring were not seen since the death of Princess of Wales.
President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has said that “the death of Osama was a great loss to world community and will embolden the imperialist aggressor to strike Iran.” President Chavez has said from his sick bed that this news has saddened him and he would immediately order a beautiful tribute to be erected in the honour of our great amigo. Nobel Prize winners Arundhati Roy and Kofi Annan have appealed to the U.S. not to turn this tragedy into an opportunity and desist from any plans of attacking Iran.
Either or. One of these this is going to happen. Either way he's on his way to apotheosis.
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Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Comment by nagster
Cenacle
Comment by Damo
Hate to be a wet blanket but without any hard evidence I doubt the story. Maybe he'll been seen in country town of the USA saying that he wanted to retire and followed the Elvis method. I've heard people say that Hitler is alive in South America.
Another possibility is this is a cunning CIA ploy to trick OSB into making another public video. Just like Al Z in Iraq. Big misitake Al Z you gave away your location in that one.
Comment by Joy
Comment by Ailene
Comment by nagster
Cenacle
Ailene, I'd loe if that kind of miracle happens but sadly it won't.
Downwrite. You said, "I think people support Osama not because of the terrorism, but because of the idealism."
Idealism?
Comment by Joy
The danger is that some forget how many people he killed along the way. And I don't think that's right in any person's case.
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
The third, for me, is the most interesting possibility. I wonder, for instance, if it makes the terror of terrorism greater, not lesser, because now you don't have a devil, but merely generalized evil -- even less of a clear enemy and target.
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Osama Bin Laden on Family Guy!
Comment by Damo
That's a good one.
From what I read about Hitler after he came to power is he spent a hell of a lot of time doing stuff all.
So what does Osama do on his day off?
Rewrap his turban?
Paint more grey hairs in his beard?
Practice holding his hand up and finger waving?
Practice frowning?
Comment by StephenP
StephenP
Comment by nagster
Cenacle
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
Could be False - if it is were like what Damo said, a lure to force OSB to make another public video.
Could be True - he might have died long ago and they might just find some guy who looked almost like him wrap with turben and beard and since the video aren't truly crystal clear you don't see much difference.
(Saddam can do it, so can he)
And then the people just wanna continue to make use of his name and make terror around the world, bombing everywhere and killing.
The thing is, I haven't really been reading news, has there any more serious bombings around the world? If OSB really proclaimed dead his followers might just go bananas and start bombing everyone... well, this is just a thought, not really a comment...
Anyhow, bringing the big boys down to knees is one thing, killing innocents is another. We are all suppose to live peacefully together, but in history this is hardly a fact in many places.
Perhaps I should ask someone about it...
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
Comment by nagster
Cenacle
Comment by Adrienne
Comment by ScarFace
!!!!! hahahaha
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
You can also delete the 3 short posts before your reply to me. Those are duplicates I had to modify it to shorter ones. ^_^
ScarFace, I think he is already look like a rate just that his bushy grey beard is covering his face.
Comment by anonymous
Comment by Michael Shillito
Nozzin' Aroun'
Comment by Jessicca
Learning Something Everyday
Malaysia Found
Can't say that it is impossible. But to risk thousands of lives after that. It is sad.